Employee at KFC Suspected of Being Jewish

Louisville, KY – A shocking revelation has rocked the world of non-kosher fast food when it was discovered that an employee at the KFC plant in Louisville may be of Jewish descent.

Being Jewish at KFC runs afoul of the company’s policy, which was instated after KFC received numerous complaints from Jewish consumers who mistakenly confused its acronym for Kosher Fried Chicken.

“Although there is no reason whatsoever to suspect that he is Jewish,” KFC’s spokesperson Paul Tree said of employee Harvey Goldberg, “we intend to thoroughly investigate this matter.”

The investigation comes after a long-time employee at the KFC plant, Chris P. Nugitt, reported that Goldberg would disappear three times a day, leave early on Fridays and bring his own lunches to work.

Nugitt discussed his suspicions with fellow co-workers who encouraged him to inform authorities. When he refused to do so, they mocked him, saying that he was too chicken to open his mouth.

“I have no beef with the guy,” Nugitt explained.

Under pressure, Nuggit reported his suspicions to his supervisor who had Goldberg tailed. An investigation found that Goldberg was attending a nearby synagogue for daily prayers, and was leaving early on Fridays to be home in time for the Shabbat.

“Each employee at the plant is a valuable asset, and Goldberg is no exception,” Tree stated at a press conference. “If we were to lose someone like Harvey, I’m don’t think the company could wing it. We have decided that there is no basis whatsoever for termination of employment.”

“Besides,” he added, “if we he was to take the matter to court, the company wouldn’t have a leg to stand on.”

His words, however, were too little too late.

By the time word of the decision reached the plant, Goldberg had already flown the coup. “It seemed as though he was afraid of being tarred and feathered by envious co-workers as a result of the company’s favoritism,” a fellow plant worker said on condition of anonymity. “It’s not usual for corporate to bend the rules as they have in this case.”

“I’m sure it’s for his benefit,” he added. “The pay here is for the birds.”

When Jewish Nooz attempted to reach Goldberg’s wife, Tzipporah, for comment, their daughter, Faigie, answered the phone. Her mother, she said, was not available for comment. She was busy in the kitchen making chicken soup.